


McGuffin Spores

by Addiepants



Category: Namesake Comic
Genre: AU - Canon Divergence, F/F, F/M, Sex Pollen, Warma, because Consent Is Important, but with explicit consent
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-10
Updated: 2017-04-10
Packaged: 2018-10-17 04:35:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10586544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Addiepants/pseuds/Addiepants
Summary: A broken coffee machine leads to the release ofsex pollenaphrodisiac spores, affecting both of the Chopper twins and their soon-to-be partners. Warma-centric, but I'm going to try and fill in the missing Alice/Selva in later chapters or a second story. No smut in the first chapter, sorry!





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Malkontent](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Malkontent/gifts).



> I blame Malk for this. I knew where I wanted to end up, and he suggested sex pollen as the way to get there, and the idea burrowed into my brain.

For want of a nail, a shoe was lost; for want of a caramel mocha frappuccino, Emma and Warrick took the longer walk that led them around the parklands by the lake, deserted at this time of day while the younger population was in school. They had decided, as they had most days that week, to spend Emma’s lunch break together playing their game: One question, answered honestly, no matter what.

***

For want of that same coffee, Jack had gone into town earlier that morning instead of staying to catalog the last of the magical items Calliope had stolen from the Rippers by way of shoving everything they could into his Endless Sack. Alice had intended to get everyone’s preparations for the ball finished by this afternoon, but with Jack occupied elsewhere, she had asked Selva to help her finish up before the purple witch did the final fittings on their costumes.

And so it was, on a sunny afternoon in a Calliope storeroom early March, that Alice and Selva were laughing together about nothing at all. Selva reached her hand into the Endless Sack to get the next item, but fumbled it, and the small glass jar shattered against the floor, covering both women and the rest of the room with a fine cloud of yellow dust. “Son of a _bitch_ ,” said Alice, “I reeeeeeally hope that wasn’t anything poisonous.”

***

“Sweet Lurlene! That’s _disgusting!_ ” laughed Warrick, leaning back against the trunk of an old oak tree. Beside him, Emma sat tucked into the crook of his arm, drinking the avocado boba tea that had replaced her usual coffee. 

“Well, you _asked_ ,” she retorted. “If you can’t take the heat, then don’t play the game.” He nodded - those were the rules, and you didn’t ask someone what was the worst thing they’d ever done without expecting a reply to suit. “Okay, your turn. Tell me… something I’ve never noticed. Make it good.”

He thought it over. She’d never noticed so many things - that he just happened to have the same lunch break as her; that he could hear it when she got up in the night, so to be waiting on the balcony; how he watched her when she wasn’t looking; the stack of Earth-ite romance novels under his bed. None of those would do, quite yet.

“My knee is purple.”

“It is?”

“Yeah. Selva has a green knee. We aren’t completely uni-colored.”

Emma raised her brows and gave him an arch look. “Well, now you’ve gotta show me. Rules are rules.”

“You’re just making up rules as we go along,” he accused, gently bumping her shoulder with his.

“The Game Queen has spoken,” she proclaimed loftily, gesturing with her drink at his leg. He pulled his pant leg up to reveal a large purple patch.

“Tah-daaaaa!”

Her laughter was the sweetest music.

***

Alice had unlocked the room with the keypad when she came in, and sighed as she hit the intercom button to alert whoever was on duty about the containment breach. “I’m not quite sure what it is yet, so I’m going to need a healer on standby, and a writer if you can snag one. And keep Whisper out of the way, the last thing I need is to give a cheshire cat a bath.”

She turned back to the center of the room, shaking the dust out of her hair and brushing it as best she could off of her clothes. It _would_ be a ruffly shirt day - she’d be yellow all afternoon. Selva stood looking down in despair at the pleats and folds of her dress, and the puff of her sleeves. “What is it? Is it dangerous?” she asked, moving close to Alice as if she could keep her safe from whatever it was that coated them both.

***

Emma leaned back against him, one hand on his bare knee rubbing affectionate circles, with her head resting on his shoulder. This was the best day on Earth he’d had yet. “Your turn, then. Tell me… how do you always smell so good?” He leaned down and buried his face in her hair, feeling a warmth build up where his heart should be.

“Oh, that’s probably my hair oil, Elaine got me some… for…” Warrick was nuzzling her with his face like a cat, his lips brushing against her ear. She pulled back to look at his face, flushing pinker through his green skin than she could manage through her brown, and he leaned his forehead to rest against hers.

“I’d really like to kiss you, Emma.” He tilted his face close enough that she could feel him whisper, “May I?”

She slid her arms around his neck and brought their lips together. He smelled like ink and vellum, and tasted sweet. Her eyes closed, feeling his arms tighten around her waist, and he let out a soft sigh of contentment. 

One question, answered honestly, no matter what.

***

Alice tried to blink through the haze in her mind and the heat in her blood. Oh dear. This was bad - wasn’t it? Selva was nipping delicately at her ear, and her own hands were skimming over Selva’s hips. She knew this feeling, though, and managed to pull one hand away and hit speed dial on her phone.

“Wendy, it’s Alice, I… fuck, I’m in one of the storage rooms in the west side, the guards can tell you where. There was a breach. McGuffin Spores. Selva’s with me. I need cleanup, containment, but… ah!” Selva’s lips had found her earlobe and she sucked on it gently. “Gonna… go elsewhere. Quarantine. Send consenting couples only, decon protocol. Bye.”

She dropped the phone and her own lips moved to Selva’s brows. “Honey, we can’t. The powder, it’s an aphrodisiac.” Quieter, now. “I don’t want you to regret me.”

Selva stepped back and took Alice’s face in her hands. “I know, I feel it, it’s very strong. But by the fairies, Alice, I’ve wanted to touch you for _weeks_ now, and I would much rather experience his with you, and enjoy it, than spend another night alone imagining you in the dark.”

“That is a compelling damn argument,” Alice murmured, a cheshire grin starting to curl up the corners of her mouth. A blue light began to form around her, and taking Selva by the hand she led her into the portal.

***

Warrick gave a frustrated moan and pulled back, his lips pink and tender where Emma’s had pressed against him. She had just started to register what that meant when they were on her again, peppering kisses over her cheeks and eyelids. “Emma, I need… I can’t… “

Suddenly alert, she pulled back. “No! Oh, no, no, I forgot - oh, Warrick -” She started to move away, but he took her hands in his before she could rise. She could feel his hands trembling as he kissed her knuckles.

“Something’s wrong,” he said quietly, and pulled them both to their feet. “Something’s wrong with Selva, or it’s… very _right_ with her, but I’m being affected. It’s like I’m floating? And warm, and tingly all over, and all I want to do is touch you.” He managed to look chagrined, even as he turned her hands over to kiss her wrists. “This wasn’t how I’d pictured our first embrace.”

“Let me call Alice,” Emma said, but her phone was already ringing, and the screen said _Wendy_.

“Emma! Listen, is Warrick with you? There’s been a containment breach--”

“Yes, he’s here, and something’s wrong - is Selva--?”

“She was exposed, it’s a kind of… aphrodisiac spore thing? It must’ve been in the Rippers’ stash. She’s okay, Alice is with her, but if this is affecting Warrick too you need to get him quarantined somewhere as quickly as you can.” She had gone from relieved to brusque, and now sounded gentle and a little sad. “Oh, and Emma?”

“Yes?”

“Don’t… don’t leave him alone with anyone he won’t want to wake up next to. Lock him in if you have to, and either make sure he’s alone, or make sure whoever’s in there with him knows what they’re getting into.” She sighed heavily. “It’s hard to ride it out alone, but it’s better than hating yourself.”

“I… yeah.” Emma looked into Warrick’s eyes, which were both worried and wanting. “I’ll make sure he’s taken care of.”

“I’m setting you up a space in the Healer’s wing - it’s isolated, and I’ll make sure you’re not… disturbed until this thing’s run its course. Be careful, Emma. You don’t _have_ to do this.”

Warrick eyed her phone from over her shoulder and nodded. “I know where that is,” he said, and in another moment they were airborne.


End file.
